I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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