Come see our sink grown plant.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
