i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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