Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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