it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize