they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
