My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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