The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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