Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize