Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
