im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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