the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn