what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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