My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped