Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now http://tfl.nu/59pg
  Replies (64) Good night (1159) Bad night (6778)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis http://tfl.nu/a1d7
  Replies (22) Good night (928) Bad night (3137)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!! http://tfl.nu/mp48
  Replies (72) Good night (3364) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college http://tfl.nu/vjhh
  Replies (37) Good night (6878) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear http://tfl.nu/s27e
  Replies (22) Good night (3184) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust. http://tfl.nu/b11e
  Replies (7) Good night (3820) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself. http://tfl.nu/ycey
  Replies (8) Good night (3527) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far? http://tfl.nu/e2iz
  Replies (7) Good night (2679) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms. http://tfl.nu/uuzs
  Replies (13) Good night (849) Bad night (2339)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/x8sq
  Replies (4) Good night (583) Bad night (1141)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!" http://tfl.nu/srq7
  Replies (7) Good night (3068) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care. http://tfl.nu/ksws
  Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree. http://tfl.nu/znv5
  Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on. http://tfl.nu/l3j9
  Replies (5) Good night (985) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (873): View more from

  I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (873): I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning. http://tfl.nu/7r93
  Replies (5) Good night (187) Bad night (522)

Randomize