I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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