He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think people are normalizing furries
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
