Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
