We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Crop dusting thru forever 21
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
