And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
