he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
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It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
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So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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