Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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