Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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