My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
