I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
