You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
