just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
