Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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