You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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