The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
