i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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