at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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