Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
