this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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