i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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