I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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