Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
smell my finger.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
