Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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