Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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