so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize