This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
