Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
