but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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