yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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