you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize