We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
