White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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