2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
