does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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