: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize