she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
