I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
