so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
