i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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