I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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